On the first night of the Perseid Meteor Shower, August 10th/11th, 2018, I drove out to the Pawnee National Grasslands in North Eastern Colorado and took approximately 300 ug of LSD. County Road 119 was my post for the night as it is in a particularly dark part of the Grasslands, ideal for stargazing. I pulled up in my rented Ford F-150 just as the sun was retreating behind the mountains in the West, exposing the emerging dark in the East. Without much adieu I ate my blotter and made a comfortable area for myself in the back of the truck. Cattle from the adjacent patties started to gather and watch the spectacle.
[photo of road from satellite]
Now I started to wait. Anxiety about the hefty dose of acid and being far from anywhere started to stir. I began to write in my journal:
“ Hey there, today is 8-10-18, about 8:30 pm. I’m sitting in the Pawnee National Grasslands. Rented a FOrd pickup truck and brought my couch cushions to sit on Currently on a farm road/count roat in the back of said truck. Listening to the cows moo as the sun counts down its final moments of light. Tonight is special since it is the start of a meteor shower. A pleasant coincidence . I rook 3.5 tabs of acid and I plan to stay up until dawn. [Tonight] I hope to explore the questions I’ve [posed to myself].
Its pleasant out, save for a few bugs. The cows are mooing themselves to sleep now - I helped one youngster get back into the patty with its mom, she seemed :).
By now it's getting so dark I can hardly see my writing. The darkest shade of orange is floating on the horizon. I’m nervous about the trip, I’m sad [about stuff], But I’m also proud - for making it here, I’m doing ok and I’m hopeful for the future.
By now - the onset of effect is apparent. I wish I had brought my guitar to play for the [the cows] They’re a curious bunch, very cute. That certainly helps abstain from eating them too often.
Some of the first stars are coming out now - the bright ones over the Eastern horizon. Can’t tell whether it is morning or evening. Same for the direction. Its quiet on this old lonely road. I wonder when it got here.
Each moment - more and more stars. Crickets chip.
Hoping for some space ships tonight… “
The cows were making a lot of noise now as they were gathered in two large groups on either side of the truck, behind fencing. I shined my headlamp at them and saw their eyes glow bright against the darkening night. They stared. I thought to myself, I wonder what they think of this bright light.
And then I tripped absolute balls until about 3:30 am. The onset and peak were very intense with all of the usual LSD happenings; my ego was diminished until finally I was reduced to what seemed to be my most fundamental until. I was shown that further reduction would be mean the end of me. I contemplated my life, my relationships with the people in it, where its going, where its been. The sky was unobservable at this point; it had transformed into a dense weave of connections with the stars as the nodes. I curled up in a ball and, closed my eyes, and let the experience process me.
At around 3:30 AM I made it back to reality. The night sky was no longer a tangle of strange liquid strings binding the stars. Instead I could see the vast, clear expanse of the Milky Way. My vision was slightly tinted with a layer of psychedelic gloss, but I could now navigate the world. I felt I could now move around in a meaningful way, hold a conversation, or drive the truck if I needed to. I figured that the trip was over and that these residual effects would keep me wide awake until the sun came up. I decided to have a snack and watch the stars until sunrise.
As I was sitting in the back of the truck, I started to notice a faint sound. Like air rushing in to an orifice. Like a powerful jet engine was sucking air, but I could not hear a motor nor the whine of blades moving at speed, just the movement of air. I thought it was a little odd. I didn’t think much of it, I thought maybe its a single engine plane flying around. At 4 am in the absolute middle of nowhere.
The sound became less faint as if it was approaching me. I noticed a red light in the distance. I figured it was a far off plane. The sound grew louder still and I began to feel as if it was gently vibrating my skin, the truck, everything around me, like a large subwoofer playing at low volume. I then looked up and froze in primal fear at what I saw. It seemed to be small craft about 100 feet above the ground and 300 feet in front of me. It was flying toward me in a slow, delicate fashion - floating carelessly, and though I saw it clearly - I did not understand what it was exactly. I was in complete disbelief.
The craft was shaped like a flat cylinder, flying parallel with respect to the ground, dark in color, rimmed with lights. It had an appendage on the bottom of a glowing red, whispy, material. As if it was something like a flame, but more firm, and upside down (as flames flow upward). The material it seemed to be made of was not of the ‘world’, as if from a dimensions with different physical rules. It implied it could make it self seen or not.
It flew over me and kept going. I felt honored and overwhelmed with gratitude as I sensed that it had initiated an interaction with me. I was completely terrified as it flew off into the distance. I was completely awestruck and the implication of the experience. I felt I had been given a gift. I was very excited and grateful. I repeatedly told it “thank you”. It was a special moment to me.
For the remainder of the night (approximately 2 or 3 hours) these craft flew around the cow patties. Sometimes they would disappear and I would think they have left only to hear the now familiar sound of suction followed by red/yellow flashing lights flying odd patterns through the adjacent fields. They would typically be about 2000 or so feet away from the truck, but at one point coming as close as 20 feet.
They seemed to be incredibly aware of my level of comfort. The entire night one “machine” was stationed in the southern cow patty at a variable distance of 30 to 2000 feet from me. This machine would retreat from me if I was experiencing fear and approach when I was curious or attentive. In this way it was interactive and it gave me a sense that these ‘people’ valued my comfort and did not want to impose but were willing to share if I was ready for it. This machine looked to be a stack of spheres, like a metallic snowman, with the top sphere being the smallest and featuring dim red lights that were pointed at me. The lights kind of looked like eyes or a camera but I had no idea what I was looking at, it was so strange and other worldly. It seemed to monitor and constantly watch me.
I began to try to interact, to try to pose questions by thinking them, to no avail. When I would do this the flying machines would disappear and the monitor would retreat. When I was open to just observing and paying attention they began to emerge again. They wanted me to watch. They demonstrated their might by ‘exposing’ a gigantic machine in the sky. The machine was covered in strange ornaments, what looked like eyes and strange geometric shapes. The material was ‘immerial’ and was see-through, quickly appearing and disappearing in part or in whole. This machine was on the scale of a large cloud and, when I observed it, they “implied” (somehow I understood) that their level of might/strength has the power to completely destroy our world and it would be a trivial task. In this moment they implied that they have had our world in their hands before human civilization existed. I understood that they were the “gods”. Perhaps the angels of biblical texts. Perhaps the aliens of modern interpretation. Perhaps these words are just a verbal gloss over a concept I can’t actually fathom as I do not understand what I was looking at in the least. They implied that they were our keepers and they were invested in our success or failure. They implied that they were benevolent and that our world is under control.
I began to write in my journal again:
Their machines make a sucking sound, as if always intaking, imploding. What is imploding? How? Air pressure differential around the craft? How does it start the process? The cosmic implosion is how all things spin. But how do I spin exactly? How do I go about creating this suction? Is there an ideal ratio of dimensions?
(video of one machine in the patty)
A machine, similar to the flat cylinder from before, now floating perpendicularly 5 feet off the ground came hovering near the ground toward the truck. The suction grew louder. It stopped to hover 20 feet from my truck as I was trying to soak in as much detail as possible. Like the cloud sized machine, it made parts of itself in/visible arbitrarily. From this close it looked like a platinum wedding band, approximate 10 feet in outer diameter with a thickness of approximately 1.5 feet. It was shiney and spinning incredibly fast. Looking through the center of the craft revealed a distorted picture, like when a boundary of heated air adjacent to a furnace distorts incident light. Looking through the ring, the fence behind it look askew compared to the fence when not looking through the machine. It disappeared, the sound stopped.
(video of two machines in the patty, early morning)
For the remainder of the night the craft made their rounds in the distant patties. As the sun started to rise, the monitor drew further back and eventually faded. The craft came by less often. When morning came they were no longer around. I drove back to town.